The Old Bordenian Association

Here is the second of the reminiscences of our peripatetic Old Bordenian, Philip Spencer Drury, who has spent most of his teaching career in improbable places!  This story relates to an incident in Vietnam where he now lives.

“In the mad dash to modernity, much of Saigon’s French heritage has been demolished.  One gem, however, remains – the Le Quy Don State Secondary School, which is one of the city’s most prestigious, having been built in the early years of the last century.  The two-tiered classrooms surround a central courtyard to which children are summoned to assembly not by bells but drums!

Such was the setting for one of the most bizarre incidents of my teaching career.

The class of 55 boys and girls (single-sex schools are practically non-existent in Vietnam) was a huge challenge not merely because of its size but also due to the unsuitability of the room to modern language teaching methods.  Uncannily, like some of the classrooms in Borden of the Sixties, pupils sat in rows of pews rivetted to the floor.  The smell of the benches was also redolent of my own school days.  And as Arnoldian as Borden itself, the teacher and his desk stood on a dais.

I used to begin my lesson there with a technique called “Model Action, Talk”, whereby students mimic the actions of the teacher and repeat words and phrases.  In this way one can teach or review, for example, the English for early morning routines – “wake up”, “rub your eyes”, “clean your teeth”, “wash your face”, “brush your hair” etc.

Now I always carry an umbrella into class.  It serves a multitude of purposes.  For example, I use it as a pointing stick or to rap for attention.  Umbrellas are rare in Vietnam ; the locals prefer to don plastic ponchos when the downpours come.  Every teacher must have a nickname and inevitably mine is Ong cai du or ‘Mr Umbrella’ in English.

That morning, my umbrella became even more famous.  Forty years on it, it will be recalled just as Old Bordenians in their fifties now remember the exploding dustbin lid.  We were early into routine.  I gave the command “Raise your arms” and naturally, to illustrate this, I raised my umbrella.  A loud crack sounded out like a pistol shot.  I was left holding just the umbrella handle, and for a split second I thought the Taleban had arrived.  Stunned silence ensued.  Then teacher and fifty five children burst out laughing as we realised what had happened.  The umbrella had hit a low-hanging ceiling fan which was in full action.  Luckily, no human contact had been made, and the main part of the brolly was found in the corridor, the door having been left open to ease the heat”.

This cartoon is reproduced here by the kind permission of the artist, Albert Barber

Philip Spencer Drury

Next time : a Pickwickian model for your very own breakfast club.